82 thoughts you have during a long-haul flight

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Anyone who has ever traveled on a plane for an extended period of time knows there is a flurry of thoughts that race through your head (and a lot of time for said thoughts to percolate). Falling asleep or not falling asleep. Drinking too much. Not drinking enough. Pee breaks. Leg cramps. Boredom. But, despite it all, long-haul flights are awesome, taking you to places around the world you wouldn’t otherwise get to see. So book a flight, pack your bags and get ready for the long haul. You’re not alone.

In the spirit of uniting travelers, here are 82 thoughts we’ve all had during a long-haul flight.

Ted Murphy, Ted Murphy on a Plane (CC BY 2.0)
Ted Murphy, Ted Murphy on a Plane via Flickr CC BY 2.0

1. Here’s hoping I’ve gathered enough good karma to win myself a window seat.
2. Is ‘A’ a window seat, or an aisle?
3. What about when I need to use the bathroom? Do I really want to keep climbing over someone for the entire flight? Maybe I do want the aisle.
4. I guess I could just take it easy on the liquids.
5. Plane air is dehydrating though. I don’t want to look like a zombie when I land.
6. Although zombies are pretty cool.
7. If a zombie apocalypse happened right now, what would I do?
8. Maybe I’ll ask my seatmate. That’s good small talk, right?
9. Man, I wish the bathrooms on planes were bigger.
10. Honestly, all this talk about legroom and bathrooms on planes are still so tiny. Priorities, people.
11. I wonder how many people pee on themselves?
12. I hope I don’t pee on myself….again…
13. I don’t even want to know how people achieve mile-high status in there.
14. Or why they would want to.
15. Yeah, I’m definitely going to drink as little as possible.
16. Although, I did want to have one drink to help me get to sleep.
17. There is no better way to break up a long flight than to sleep away at least half of it.
18. I wonder what I look like when I sleep.
19. Sometimes I talk in my sleep…
20. What are the chances this happens during this flight?
21. Can you imagine if I fall asleep and my head lands on the shoulder of the person beside me like in the movies?
22. Eww. What if the person beside me falls asleep and THEIR head lands on my shoulder like in the movies?
23. Well, if the person is attractive, I guess that would’t be the WORST situation.
24. What if my head lands on this good looking person’s shoulder and I start talking in my sleep?
25. Maybe I shouldn’t sleep at all.

stereogab, sleepingontheplane (CC BY-SA 2.0)
stereogab, sleepingontheplane via Flickr CC BY-SA 2.0

26. But if I don’t sleep, what will I do for the next 15 hours? 15. HOURS.
27. At least there will be food.
28. Hmmm, how many meals will I get if the flight is 15 hours. Dinner, breakfast… maybe a snack?
29. I wonder what the meals will be.
30. I hope it’s better than the meal on my last flight. That bread had seen some better days
31. Oh. Such pretty clouds.
32. Maybe I’ll have a scotch.
33. Do I even like scotch?
34. Maybe I’ll just take one of these sleeping aids my doctor prescribed instead.
35. I can’t wait to sleep.
36. Let’s put on a movie until I drift off into dreamland.
37. None of these movies are that great.
38. Why aren’t all planes just equipped with Netflix?
39. Netflix and pill.
40. I’m funny. I wonder if the person next to me would think that was funny.
41. I should tell them.
42. Ehh, better not.
43. Seriously, I hope the food is better than these movie selections.
44. Why do I care so much about a movie I don’t plan on even getting halfway through?
45. I wonder how much of a recline I can get before the person behind me gets irritated.
46. Oh yeah. Recline mode.
47. I swear if that person kicks my chair one more time…
48. Oh, shoot. Every time I cross and uncross my legs I kick the chair in front of me. I shouldn’t be so hard on the person behind me.
49. This movie is actually pretty…
50. Whoa. How long was I out?
51. I wonder what time it is. Please let this flight be at least half over.
52. The person beside me is fast asleep. Kind of jealous.
53. Sudden urge to pee.
54. I don’t want to wake the person beside me, but the more I think about not peeing, the more I have to go.
55. I REALLY wish I had the aisle seat right now.
56. I wonder if I can just climb around this person without waking them up?
57. *internally hums “Mission: Impossible” theme music*
58. That was awkward. I’m not looking forward to doing that again.

FearfulStills, Sir we are about to land (CC BY 2.0)
FearfulStills, Sir we are about to land via Flickr CC BY 2.0

59. I swear, the bathroom got smaller since my last flight.
60. Oh no. ‘Fasten seat belt’ sign just went on.
61. Pee faster. Pee faster!
62. Oh good, the person beside me is awake.
63. No, don’t get up, this is fine, I’ll just climb over you.
64. My leg definitely just touched their knee.
65. What time is it now?
66. Only five hours to go.
67. Should I try for sleep again?
68. Will I miss the meal?

Pat Guiney, Air France Airplane Food (CC BY 2.0)
Pat Guiney, Air France Airplane Food via Flickr CC BY 2.0

69. That meal was sub-par. I should have kept sleeping.
70. Two hours left. These long flights aren’t so bad.
71. One hour and 58 minutes left. Seriously?
72. Does time slow down when you’re this high in the sky?
73. One hour and 30 minutes. For real?
74. Maybe I’ll read.
75. I’m just reading the same sentence over and over.
76. One hour and 15 minutes.
77. If you position your head just right, the window isn’t the worst pillow.
78. 30 minutes!!!!!!
79. My neck does not feel great.
80. I hope the people on this plane aren’t the kind that clap when we land.
81. I just….don’t….get it.
82. That pilot really did nail the landing though.

liz west, Southwest Air pilots (CC BY 2.0)
liz west, Southwest Air pilots via Flickr CC BY 2.0

What goes through your head on a long-haul flight? Let us know in the comments.

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82 thoughts you have during a long-haul flight was last modified: June 26th, 2019 by Nicole Rashotte
Author: Nicole Rashotte (22 posts)

In addition to travel writing, Nicole creates content for several startups in the fashion, tech and corporate world. When not writing or doing community management, Nicole can be found forcing her dog into cuddles and Instagram photos, and searching for the perfect green tea.